Ilan Halfon

Nobody’s Watching (And That’s a Good Thing): The Truth About Progress and Judgement Here’s something most of us forget: no one cares . Yes — you read that right: no one cares. I see this all the time when people decide to start running or join a gym. In their heads they picture themselves running effortlessly or crushing a full workout. But their bodies aren’t there yet. They put on their shoes and go for a run. Two minutes in they’re barely breathing and have to stop or switch to walking. That’s when shame hits. They feel embarrassed for not meeting the image they’d built in their mind. Then they assume everyone is watching, which makes the shame worse. They try again and fail again, and feel even more exposed. That cycle kills consistency. Shame, disappointment, and a sense of failure make anyone want to quit. But here’s the truth: no one really cares. Maybe someone glanced your way, or you were in their field of view — but most people are wrapped up in their own lives. If someone i...

The power of packaging is so strong, so powerful. Sometimes we don’t realize that we utilize it more often than not on our own experiences. We package our experiences with so many different wrappings. We wrap them softly with a smile when we experience something nice; we wrap them with a story we share with someone we care for. But then we get a harsh experience - some might call it trauma --an event that, regardless of how you wrap it, will redefine everything about you. We create a package that begins with denial: this is the saran wrap, the one you keep wrapping over and over until you are sure it is strongly sealed. It can take many layers; like denial, it takes a lot of practice to build. Once you feel it is safe you bring the first box to place it in. This one I call the casual moving‑forward box. You don’t feel happy or sad; you neutralize how you feel. You kind of move through life like a robot. The box, most of the time, is plain — white or another no‑statement color. But now ...